They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
