You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
