She announced her abortion via fbk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
