high people should be assigned attendants
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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