How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fuck appropriateness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
