the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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