really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
