oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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