Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He kissed a someone with a penis
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
