I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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