This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
