i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
