just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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