Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
