so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
