he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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