i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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