hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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