This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
