God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
