so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
