her vagine was all disorganized.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize