Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
