oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
