I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
