Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the high leading the old right now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
