so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
