He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
