This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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