I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
