WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
