at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
