i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
