when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
