how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
