He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
