OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
