Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
