You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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