Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
