Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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