It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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