I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
