i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
