Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
