i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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