You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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