Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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