i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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