Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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