Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
