How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
