she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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