No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
