it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
