Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I understand Curling. That high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
