I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
