just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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