When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
