this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize