lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
