we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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