Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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