Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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