But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
