best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
