We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's always time for handjobs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize