I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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