sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
