at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
