Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
