Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
