I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
