but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
