well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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