When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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